A Poem for Letting Go

White Knuckles

With white knuckles, I hold hard and fast to what should be

My will, this way, please bless it, O Lord

Can’t You see what could be?

The life I thought You promised me?

You are the Lord of lords

Instead You’re pointing to a cross

That is too heavy to bear

It looks weighty, yet empty

Disquieting, yet intriguing

But can’t You see my hands are full?

Do You even care?

With white knuckles, I hold hard and fast to the life I thought I’d live

A tight grip with sweaty palms

The unknown holds me captive

But the tiny flame that burns inside

Invites me now to close my eyes

And muster up a “yes” for You

To peel each of these fingers back

Release my grip, give You some slack

To do what You came to do

You peel back each finger

One by one

Detaching me from

What never was

You peel back each finger

One by one

Color returns 

My fingers no longer numb

With free hands, I hold hard and fast to Your will for me today 

The life I thought You promised me

Was not the path to intimacy 

With Your Sacred Heart

Your total Self, Your endless love,

Your goodness, mercy, Body and Blood 

Satiate any desire I could ever dream of

Your total Self, Your endless love,

Your goodness, mercy, Body and Blood

Provide peace this world will never make sense of

With free hands, I hold hard and fast to the chalice You offer me

A crown of thorns, just like Yours

A chance to share in Your suffering

With free hands, I hold hard and fast to that cross You offered me

That heavy cross I never wanted

Was the cross that set me free